Practical Goal Setting Tools for Everyone

Dreaming Your Dream

We’ve all had experiences when we were involved in an activity where time passed without our ever having noticed. What were the activities you loved as a girl or as a young woman? Remember the young woman who was fraught with idealism, who wanted to change the world, who took grand risks both in love and in career before she became far too sensible? Where did she go? What did you lay upon the altar of self-sacrifice and offer up to the god of conformity?

It’s not just that we lost track of our free spirited self, but that there was pressure both from within our families as well as from society to erase her. In many instances, our wild girl was seen as a threat. For many of us there was simply no room for her. Our enthusiasm and self-confidence often reminded our mothers of what they had been forced to sacrifice or abandon. While there were exceptions, by and large they believed that the way to ensure their daughter’s happiness and security was to teach us to conform--to be “feminine.” The societal pressure made it--and unfortunately continues to make it--difficult for the wild girl to remain a vibrant part of a girl’s self-image.

In my seminars, I often ask women to consider a question that was first posed by writer Joanna Macy: “What was your dream before you stopped dreaming?” I reassure them that they’re under no obligation to follow through with what they say. Inevitably, though, once the women identify what they’ve lost, they can’t wait to integrate it into their lives. Then I ask them to imagine what they would do if money weren’t a concern. I encourage the women to let their imagination run free. This provides a blueprint for recovering their passionate self. In fact, “passionate” is our wild girl’s middle name. Everything she did was done with intensity, whether it was riding her bike, studying a geode from her mineral collection, practicing for the school play. She brought her whole self to the task. She had an insatiable curiosity and desire to explore the world.

When you were a girl, did you ever sit in your backyard on a warm summer’s night and wonder what made the fireflies twinkle? Did you ever lie on your back and make imaginary creatures out of passing clouds? Were you ever intrigued by how magnets could attract a pile of iron filings or how combining red and blue paint made the color purple? Remember that sense of wonder you felt as a child? Remember the feeling that you wanted to know and do everything? Remember when you could. Well those feelings are just waiting to be rekindled.

If you need a little inspiration, take yourself where there are children playing. Watch how they peer into a mud puddle in astonishment or hang upside down on the monkey bars amazed at their new perspective on the world. As you observe these children, allow yourself to remember the delight that is possible when you revive your childhood sense of curiosity.

Ask yourself, what do I crave? For those of us who were once pregnant, we’ll remember those cravings. While I’m not talking about food here, the urgency is exactly the same. What is your wild girl calling you to do? You may hunger to swim naked in a cool mountain lake, to eat a piece of ripe fruit with your hands, to take swing dancing lessons. Our cravings can take many forms. They can range from simple pleasures to the longing for adventure.

About The Author

Not sure what your goal is? Don't find the time to work on your goal? eaziGOAL is a real goal setting program, for real people to get what they want. Click here to learn about these goal setting tools.

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